What's the best way to get over a broken heart? I scoured the self help shelves in search of the quickest remedies to get over a man. Since there was nothing on diabolical, torturous revenge, I decided to go over to the travel section. As I sifted through the books and guides of tropical places I saw a hot, Latin man walk by. "Hmmm, what an idea!", I thought, grabbing one on Cancun and racing straight to the checkout. My mind was made up, I was going with or without a travel companion. As I drove away my phone rang and, ironically enough, it was a friend of mine who had just caught her loser boyfriend in bed with a skank. Obviously another victim of the abyss. I'm sure she heard the typical pleadings, "Oh I'm so sorry, it was a mistake. Really, I didn't mean to do it." Putting sugar in the flour jar is a mistake. Believing what the politicians tell us, that's a mistake. Fucking some hag, for whatever reason, is intentional. They would really like us to think that their dicks are mysteriously and magnetically pulled to every gaping hole the weak and mindless slabs encounter. And for some reason, it's always with someone ugly, fat or dumb. Perhaps if we were cheated on with supermodel, rocket scientists we might at least understand the motivation. So unfortunately, all we are left with is the abyss theory. Needless to say, she was receptive to the Mexico idea. One week later we were on our way with another disillusioned babe in need of an attitude adjustment of the liquid kind. "Do you think there will be good looking men there?" Janice, the most recently cheated on one asked. "You know it! Didn't you see MTV spring break?" Kellee said. "I want to meet a guy named Sergio!" I joked, remembering the sexy name of a waiter I once had at a restaurant. As soon as we arrived we fell in love. In addition to the amazing south of the border babes everywhere, the natural scenery was breathtaking. Water of the most vivid shades of turquoise, white sand that I melted into while walking and the smell of fresh air. Oh, and the beautiful men. Did I mention that? The first ones we saw were two hot Argentineans playing ping pong at the pool. Tall, and oh so exotic. Kellee approached them and asked them if they would take our picture. They looked at each other dumbfounded. She showed them the camera and then they understood. They just didn't speak much English. How perfect. Those of us who love foreign men collectively understand that some things are universal, no talk needed! A couple of hours later we discovered that these two studs had four other friends with them. I do believe that all of their names ended with an "O". Frederico, Armando, Francisco, two others, and SERGIO! Guess which one I liked? Suddenly I realized that if my boyfriend HAD kept his dick in his pants I would have not had this fateful meeting with my Sergio. Isn't life wonderful? That night out at the ever exciting COCO BONGO Kellee met this unbelievable guy from Brazil named EduardO. She suddenly had a memory lapse of her recently dismissed boyfriend. Since she had already consumed more booze than I usually do in a year, she was less than subtle. Eduardo spoke almost no English and since Sergio spoke very well she appointed him translator. You should have seen the look of shock on his face when she asked him to tell Eduardo that she wanted to "fuck his brains out". Janice was off flirting with BrunO from Paraguay. He was a professional basketball player and had the body to prove it. He spoke well enough to tell her that he was leaving for his country in the morning and "Time was awasiting!" She was MIA for the next 24 hours. Sergio was more of the romantic type. He buttered me up with sweet compliments and held my hand. When he did go to kiss me, I thought he was going to swallow my face. If suffocation by tongue was a crime, I suspect there would be a lot of South American men guilty as charged. Instead of getting annoyed, I assumed my teacher role and taught him the proper way to kiss. By the end of the week he was a pro. By the way, that aggressive tongue did come in handy in other areas where he needed absolutely no instruction. I'd like to say that the rest of our vacation was spent relaxing, soul-searching and nursing our broken hearts, but I cannot tell a lie. Every night was an adventure! But, I can say that we all came back with one clear understanding. The names end with an O for a reason!