(hit and run part 2)

Good God. Why didn't anyone tell me the secret to getting everyone's attention is just simply ripping on an asshole guy? A natural talent of mine and apparently a must read for the masses! This is just a small portion of the responses I got from last week's Hit and Run column. (For those of you who missed it, go to gogomagazine.com for all back issues)


Dear Stephanie,

You go girl! Loved the slam on that jerk. Here are some more signs you should tell your readers to watch out for...Caution Under Construction (for men on the rebound) - One Way(for selfish lovers) - Soft Shoulder(flabby man alert).
--Girls Stickin Together

Dear Stephanie,

Why the hell were you dating a sports agent in the first place? Don't you know that they are the nerds that never got picked for the teams and ended up on the sidelines. They have the jock mentality, but no talent. Someone paid to give advice really should have known better than to fall for such a fraud. Tisk Tisk, Miss Stephanie, I hate (love) to say I told you so. Well, I would have warned you if you would have asked.
--The Puckster

Poor Miss Stephanie,

Another date, another turkey. At least you got rid of him quickly. Hit and run, yes, but it may be a result of the "You're a notch and I'm a legend" philosophy. Despicable yes, but in many circles you're considered quite a trophy and judging from the crude method of operation, maybe he just wanted bragging rights with his buddies. Of course if any of his buddies read Go-Go... If I were single, I would now find you an absolutely terrifying date. "If I mess this up, it will be in papers across the continent!" That might be to your advantage (I'd be on my best behavior. Why hell, I'll even run my spell check), but I'm afraid many of my gender may just be intimidated into total ineptitude. I realize that this was done as a public service to warn women away from certain vial [sic] types, those with poor hygiene, religious fanatics, etc. Add military and police to that list, or perhaps just any man having a fascination with weapons. I might also add jocks although the good-body/ bad-brain dilemma is quite difficult for many. No, over the years I've come to believe a much simpler theory-- all men are toads. Consider it for a moment, I'm sure you'll find my theory has merit.

--A man, but I'll never admit it

Dear Stephanie,

Yeah baaabbeee, loved your Hit and Run story. Looks like you came out unscathed, although you might want to try the new premise that all men are Hit and Run artists, then work back from there. But come on, Steph, cheesy come-ons are a dead giveaway. The guys who really sincere out don't use them. Loved the article, though, it was pretty damn hilarious.
--A man of my word

Dear Stephanie,

Maybe if you didn't jump into bed within the first week this kind of thing won't happen to you. You get what you deserve.
--from some bastard not brave enough to leave their name or return address.

Dear Stephanie,

If you think that's bad, I have to tell you about a hit and mangle and run girl that I met. She picked me up at a bar, took me to my house and fucked my brains out. The next morning I woke up to an empty bed, a stolen wallet, stereo, laptop and a very unhealthy case of crabs.
--Should have known better

Dear Stephanie,

I think I know this hit and run guy you are talking about. Does he have a dog, a big old truck and a crotch-rocket? If so, he is a total player! But, from what I hear he has a little dick. No big loss.
--Better off alone

Dear Stephanie,

I have been reading your column for a long time now and you almost always have the best responses to any kind of situation. But last week when I read your hit and run story, I was a little disappointed. A guy like that doesn't deserve all the attention you are giving him and I'm sure he is flattered that it means so much to you to write about it. I think it would be better if you just ignored him.
--Suzy

Dear Suzy,

I absolutely agree with the fact that he doesn't deserve a second thought from me. And to be completely honest with you, I didn't write about him because I missed him or even cared too much. In fact, his letters were beginning to scare me off a bit. The reason why I wrote it was because I can. And morons like that shouldn't mess with a girl with the power of the pen!