Dear Stephanie,

I have been told that if I learn to masturbate I will get to know my body better and have better orgasms. I have only had one orgasm in my life and really don't have a clue how to make it happen. Can you offer me any advice?
--Two Left Hands

Dear Two Left Hands,
It's true, you need to explore all your nooks and crannies, especially the cranny part, to have great sex, better orgasms and be a fantastic lover. There are so many ways for women to masturbate, that only doing it one way would be leaving way too much out! Here are a couple of fun ways to get your fingers wet...

Like to just use your hands? Try stimulating, rubbing, caressing, stroking, pinching, or diddling the clitoris with one or more fingers or the palm of your hand. Some find direct contact with the clitoris too intense, and find stimulation near or around it to be better. You decide when you start playing how much pressure or direct contact you like. It's also fun to have a layer of clothing or some soft, silky fabric between your hand and body.

Once you get the clit excited and swollen then it's always fun to slide a finger, dildo or vibrator inside. If you are using your finger, feel around and see if you can locate your G-Spot. It is near the front wall, almost directly behind the clitoris. Sometimes with fingers it's difficult to provide adequate G-Spot stimulation.
Inserting a vibrator or dildo into the vagina can help locate and stimulate your G-Spot and offers a feeling of fullness. It's always good to use a little lubrication and one that is really nice is Wet Platinum.

Another hot way for you to learn to get off is with a shower massage. The focused attention of the pulsating jet stream gives a quick and effortless release. Keep one hand free and adjust the temperature or water pressure for even more variety. Also, sitting in front of hot tub jets can stimulate the clit as well as give the entire body a nice relaxing massage.

Just to be fair, here are some ways for men to get off alone, besides the usual 5 knuckle shuffle

1. Take a nice, soft pillow and place it between your stomach and your penis...then while lying on your stomach, thrust between the bed and pillow for a great morning hard-on sensation.

2. Place a small vibrator in the palm of your hand and stroke with full power. For added stimulation take another one in your other hand and rub it along your balls and ass area.

3. Lie on your back in the tub and with a removable shower head put the water on full blast and let it stimulate near the top of your penis, while stroking with the other hand.

4. Take a relatively large cup and fill it with warm water. Lower your balls into the water as you jack off. It gives an amazing feeling while you ejaculate. For a totally different sensation, use cold water.

5. Take one toilet paper tube, a condom and some lube. Put the condom inside the roll and stretch the opening of the condom across the opening of the tube. Fold the end of the condom over the end of the tube and hold with one hand. Make sure you're really lubed up and begin thrusting. If you pull on the tip of the condom while you stroke, it is said to feel like a blowjob.

Tired of the typical names for beating your meat? Looking for a variety of ways to describe one of your favorite past times? Here are a few to hold you over......

Baste the turkey
Badger the witness
Flog your log
Hold your sausage hostage
Withdraw from the spank bank

And some more for women.....

Buffing the box
Diddling miss daisy
Frosting the muffin of love
Impeaching Bush
Twirling the pearl

Dear Stephanie,

I am always hearing conflicting reports about masturbation, is it good for me or not?
--Rosey

Dear Rosey,

It seems there are constantly new studies done showing the benefits of drinking lots of water, exercise, taking vitamins or even having a daily glass of wine. And it's true, all of them are great for health and your heart. The problem is, I never see anything written up about the amazing benefits of daily masturbation. After all, we live in a society that is obsessed with sex, however, no one wants to admit to taking matters into their own hands, so to speak. I'd like to put an end to the forbiddance of speaking of masturbation, beating around the bush and choking the monkey. It is very good for everyone and I would love to see the media glamorizing it the way they do a new exercise craze! Some of the benefits of daily masturbation are stress reduction, cardiovascular improvement, aids in sleep and relaxation, alleviates menstrual cramps and prolongs life. Sounds like enough reasons to me. Come on everyone, let's get to business and if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.

Dear Stephanie,

I like to videotape myself masturbating. I'm a shy person but watching myself on camera excites me. I have a new boy friend who is a photographer and I'm afraid telling him will make him want to photograph me in the act. He is always suggesting I do some sexy shots for him. I'm not sure I want to do that, this fantasy is a private matter for me. Should I tell him?
--Camerashy

Dear Camerashy,

Don't tell the boyfriend. I seriously doubt that he shares all of his masturbatory habits with you. Besides, since most relationships end and most of them end badly, you don't want him having these goods on you. And please be careful with the tapes, I can only imagine what an established photographer can do if he gets his sticky little hands on some evidence like that. The only other thing I would like to caution you about is most photographers have one hell of a time keeping their dicks in their pants, especially if they photograph women and even more so if the women are undressed. So, if a faithful boyfriend is something you value, then I suggest you find yourself a nice computer nerd.

Dear Stephanie,

Is a bent penis the result of too much masturbation? Does is affect intercourse?
--Jay

Dear Jay ,

No, it has nothing to do with masturbation. Masturbation is GOOD, you hear me? GOOD! I am not a doctor, but I would say it is more of a genetic condition, and in some cases can be corrected. Honestly, from my experience, I have to say it does adversely affect intercourse. You really have to practice and find a position to make it more comfortable for the woman. Although every one is different, I would try doing the spoon position. I once knew a guy with a severely bent penis and he was able to maintain his humor about it. He called it his boomerang and asked women if they'd like to play with it!

Dear Stephanie,

I have been experimenting with cock and ball torture during masturbation and find that regular sexual contact there no longer excites me. I need to have a good whipping, a tight rope and a cock ring to even get a hard on these days. How can I explain this to new lovers?
--Paul

Dear Paul,

I think you need to hold off on the cock and ball torture for at least a month and let yourself regain your sensitivity. I have this fabulous vibrator that I like to use and it brings me from zero to orgasm in 60 seconds. Sometimes, if I've been using it a lot, I have a hard time getting off during regular sex. No one has a tongue with the energy and velocity of my battery operated buddy! So, much to my dismay, I have to restrict myself from time to time to let myself cool off. I suspect this will help you as well!
As far as telling a new lover about your kinky preferences, I suggest you tell them right away. Then if they are freaked or frigid about it, you can send them on their way before you invest to much time and energy. Don't worry, there are plenty of dominant women who would love to smack you around.