Dear Stephanie,
How can you tell when a girl is only after your money? What are the hints that give it away and how can you tell right off the bat so I don't get suckered again? This has happened more times than I would care to admit.
--Mr.Got Bucks
Dear Mr.Got Bucks,
For $1,000 I will tell you! I should have just left it at that, but it is my duty as your advice mistress to at least attempt to give you a clue. Something you are in desperate need of. The way I see it, if you don't advertise that you're Mr. Got Bucks, then gold diggin' sluts won't know that you are there to be used. In fact, they won't mess with you at all. But I suspect you, just like other men who flash their wealth, feel you can't get a girl on your personality and looks alone.
A friend of mine just met a guy while she was driving. He pulled up beside her in a Harley and asked her for her number. At first she was intrigued, hot guy, hot bike. However, when he called her a couple of days later, her intrigue turned into disgust in about the time it takes a moron guy to show his true colors, which was 5 minutes. In that fateful 5 minutes he told her that he owns 2 properties, several businesses and the clincher, that he was dropping his Harley off to get ostrich seats installed. That was their first and last conversation. Had she been a gold diggin slut, she would have been all over this idiot and she could have taken him for a lot. Had she been impressed about the ostrich seats, I would have kicked her ass.
So, now we must decide if you are attracting these users to you. If you answer yes to one or more of these questions, then chances are it's your fault, and you deserve what you get.
1. Do you have a spankin new red corvette?
2. Do you ask women to come over to go hot tubbing?
3. Do you wear gold chains weighing in at over 1 pound?
4. Do you conveniently leave your stock portfolio and tax returns on the coffee table next to your magazines?
5. Do you use phrases like..."Hey doll, would you like to come to vegas for the weekend?" to women you have just met?
6. Have you ever said..."Don't you know who I am?"
7. Do you spend lots of money on first dates hoping to get some?
8. Do you bathe in cologne?
9. Do you pull out your bulging full, gold money clip to pay the parking meter?
10. Does any part of your wardrobe include the skin of any animal on the endangered species list?
11. Do you tell women about all of your assets and jobs before you ask them their name?
Mr. Got Bucks, my advice to you is to initially hide the fact that you have a lot of money and try developing some other redeeming qualities besides quickest draw of wallet in the west. And when you do get involved again, make sure she wants to do more things with you than shopping. Also, you should be able to tell if her feelings are authentic by the way she kisses you. If she doesn't kiss you at all, then there's your answer.
Dear Stephanie,
I am the kind of guy who likes to wait a few dates before sleeping with someone, but this new girl I am involved with is either saving herself for marriage or she is one hell of a prick tease. We have been dating for over 2 months now and each time it seems like we are going to finally get it on, she suddenly has to leave or sends me away. Her excuses are usually good, but I get the feeling she might be leading me on. Will I ever get laid
--Blue Balls
Dear Blue Balls,
I am turning this over to the hot chick panel. Since there are varying degrees of holding out, I thought it might be helpful for you to hear from girls who are easy to the hard to get. Here is what a couple of girls who give it up on the first date had to say...
"He should just forget it. If she hasn't fucked him by now, she never will." And "Maybe he is a lousy kisser and she figures he will fuck the same way."
Now from someone who waits a few dates, like yourself...
"He needs to be patient. Two months isn't really all that long. At least he knows she doesn't just jump into bed with every guy she dates."
And finally, the ice princess. A girl who rarely ever lets men get to third base...
"Good for her. Until a guy proves himself, why bother? Personally, I think the minute you give it to him he changes. I love to see guys going crazy with frustration."
This is what I think...
She could be just scared, inexperienced or saving it. Or maybe she really likes you a lot and doesn't want to rush things. There could also be an ex-boyfriend still on her mind who hurt her badly. On the other hand, she may be just teasing you. Some girls get a kick out of being make-out queens and then take care of business later, ALONE. (I think I invented this one) And, unfortunately, there is also the possibility that she is not physically attracted to you that way. Or that you have body odor and/or bad breath. You see Blue Balls, there are a million possibilities and the only sure way to know is to ask her.
Dear Stephanie,
I'm seriously annoyed. My best friend has been seeing this chick for 4 months now and he never wants to do anything with me. It's always Marcia Marcia Marcia! I want my buddy back, I hate going to clubs alone. He wants to hook me up with one of her friends, but all of her friends are fat. What's an eternally single boy to do?
--Lonely Ranger
Dear Ranger,
Boy can I relate! As the warm weather sets in, it seems all my friends are hooking up too. Not only does this meaning less hot babes to go out with, it also begins a constant barrage of attempted set ups with their new boyfriend's friends. This may at first sound convenient, however, I would like you to consider my "One Cute Friend" observation. In circles of men who hang together there is always, and quite unfortunately, only one hot guy. It's what you would call a mutual benefit package. The hot guy doesn't have any competition and the dorks get all of the hot guy's leftovers. Great for the dorks, sucks for me, the friend of the girl who dates the hot guy. The only time I haven't seen this rule in action is when I travel to Mexico, Montreal or come to think of it, everywhere but Denver.
I am going to give you the same advice that I gave myself. It's quite simple, be thankful and contented about your eternal singleness. Just think about all the miserable couples out there who are, no doubt at this very moment arguing over money, sex or lack of it. Visualize the suspicious women who are scouring through their boyfriends pockets, wallets and day timers. Try and feel the heavy weight of a ball and chain and then suddenly remember...You're free. You can do whatever you want with whomever you want. Find single people to hang with, or better yet, go out alone. It's a much better way to meet new people. And don't worry, your friend will be single again soon enough.
Dear Siren Chat,
I am a decent looking guy and yet I can never seem to meet women, or if I meet them I can't get to a date, let alone a casual night of sex. I like to go to bars and dance. Where in this town can I meet someone? And what is it that women like? I'm tired of striking out.
--Todd
Dear Todd,
I know that I am only one opinion is a sea of millions, but perhaps my experience and insight will serve as a map through this complex terrain known as the female mind. I would first like to address the issue of meeting women. As far as where to do it, I can't think of any place that is necessarily wrong. There are single, hot babes just about anywhere you go. The thing you need to focus on is approach. This is where most men fail miserably! Singles bars are where I have seen the most annoying kind of desperation. There is nothing at all attractive about someone who exudes an "I'm here to get laid" vibe. Don't stare, pant or adjust yourself in front of a woman you think is hot. Also, you have to be able to read a woman's body language. I can't even tell you how many times I have had guys come up to me and not notice that I am turning away, only answering their questions with yes or no and rolling my eyes at their silly lines. These are things that you should be on the alert for! Don't interrupt two girls who are talking and ask one to dance and then when she says no, ask the other. That is as lame as it gets! And finally, if you ask to buy her a drink and she says no, then it is certainly unacceptable to ask, "Then I guess a blow job is out of the question?"
Now, don't despair! There are many things you can do to get a woman to notice you and perhaps even think about dating you. The most important thing is to be real. Don't use cheesy lines, over-flatter or talk about your BMW (or lack of one) when you walk up to her. Just say hello and see if she's responding with more than a quick hi and a turn of the head. Try to get to know her, beyond her social labels. Find out about her interests, passions and favorite food before you ask her the stupid and predictable, "So, what do you do?" If it's going well and you want to ask her out, don't say, "I'd love to take you to dinner sometime." Just ask her for her number and tell her you would like to continue your conversation another time. It makes you more intriguing and not so needy looking. Dinner is a 2nd date thing, it's way too awkward for the first date.
A night of casual sex might be a little more difficult to accomplish, but it can be done. I will admit it's so much harder for a man than a woman. A close girlfriend of mine went up to a guy at a club and said, "So what are the chances of me seeing you naked later?" And, of course, he said, "100%." I do not recommend this sort of behavior from you or any guy, for that matter, because we live in a double standard world where getting laid is concerned. I will tell you that finding a girl who has had a little too much to drink is sometimes the way to go. Then tell her how unbelievably hot she is. Dance with her and do a lot of grinding and touching. Tell her how hot she is again. Buy her drinks. Tell her about your puppy. I don't care if you have one or not! Or, if you really want results and you're dark haired, work on your Latin accent and introduce yourself as Sergio! If you are blond, use the name Klaus.
Finally to answer your question about what women like, I polled all my hottest of friends and here are a few of the more important things. We like sweet breath, clean bodies without too much cologne, deep, long massages, men who dine (and I am not referring to food), sensitivity without sap, intelligent conversation that doesn't consist of sports statistics and trivia, confidence, a lack of addictions and men who have never had a restraining order against them.
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